Alright I'm cool

Yeah..last night I had a miniature freak out. I guess i'm not as cold and apathetic as i though huh? Like the kid who swears he'd win a fight before he gets into one and is laid out. Damn Sorry to anyone who looks at these things, i'm not crazy..not yet at least, or not anymore than i was when this started.
 I should probably explain a few things about me. I just graduated from high-school, and was getting ready to go to college and be a lit major, minor in philosophy (yeah..I had no idea what i was gonna do for money). My Handle came about from a book I read a few years ago, called Idlewild. The main character..actually shared my fascination with thanatology and my love for Lovecraft, so when I made this, i decided why not? it's better than some generic name or using my own. Plus it sounds cool. Anyways..signing off Need some coffee and a good meal.

Fear, cynicism, madness.

I posted on M's page "With M's disappearance, I've lost faith in our fates. He gave me strength with this all started out, hell I thought he was going to figure out how to get all of us to punch out cthulhu(Figure of speech..though it fits..surprisingly well.) I wish there was something we all could do beyond run. Hell even The Great Old ones had enemies as strong as them in the Old gods. Why doesn't this Monster have ANYTHING that threatens his existence? I guess it's not right to believe we have a chance against him."
I didn't finish. I began a little miniature freak out..I wanted to start crying right there on the page...We're doomed guys..everyone of us runners is fucked. We have no God-damned chance against this fucking nightmare! why do we even try? All other Nightmares have supernatural enemies..What about US? WHAT ABOUT HIM! GOD DAMN THE FUCKERS ON SOMETHING AWFUL!

Shouldn't be here

I don't know why I'm posting this. No one will believe me. Not even the Other Slender-stalked, they'll think I'm just pretending this is an ARG. Three months ago I found the fucker on a dare from a friend of mine, and I fell obsessively into the stories and blogs, and ideas, just like i did with Lovecraft. I loved the thought of a modern day Cosmic horror creature, so similar to NightGaunts, yet so very different...I would wake up..grab breakfast and go straight to studying Slendy...simply because he was fascinating. *shrug* Dumb Idea I guess. I made it two months before I first saw him. I thought maybe i was hallucinating or something, but...no, that god-damned cigarette is real..and came for me. I followed M's advice, the second time I saw him..I ran faster than I ever have before, leaving almost everything behind me, save my laptop, and a few books. It's..I feel like one of Lovecraft's characters, pursued by an unknowable..unstoppable force with an unknown reason for attacking us...I should have listened to my instincts and dropped the Slender shit after the first day.
Whatever..I don't fear Death, so if the fucking cigarette gets me, I won't be afraid of death, but whatever the hell he's got prepared for me.